FIONA OF VOGELBURG
G.A.M.C.
“My dear friend, I only hope I can sing words into your heart and let them stir your soul with motions that make your spirit dance. In this I can release the emotion of my story, and how it remains a mystery.
My mother was the fairest of many women and her true origin is unknown. Being a foundling, she was the prized possession of a couple who could never have children of their own yet her incessant wanderings led them to cherish her less than they wanted. Yet in her early years before she was intoxicated by wanderlust, she and her family were very close. She grew up listening to legends of the fae and like many Irish, feared the Statutes of Kilkenny . Yet as she stepped into womanhood, fear was something she had less concern for. It was during this time that she found solace in the hearts' of men, one of them being my father who was spellbound by her adventurous nature, enchanting demeanor and love of song.
They fell in love, but her desire for him was waning. Some felt they were destined to be married, others scorned the idea as she continued going out into the forest, sometimes being gone for days or weeks on end. He waited for her though, ever faithful and kept his heart beating in hope he would see her again. He was more settled than she, and held much respect for God unlike she who held a free spirit. Christianity had enough influence and he knew his ways would never match hers, yet he desired her just the same.
On one of her sojourns our family began to
whisper of how she sometimes met with an English lord and how, after she
left him alone in the forest in the moonlight, how the lord would do whatever
was necessary to claim her for himself forever. Regarding her, the
statutes did not seem to affect him. I assumed it could be because
he was blinded by his love for her, for I always considered my mother Irish
even if she was a foundling. Yet since she was a free spirit above
all, she scorned the idea never being able to be possessed by anyone, especially
royalty since they were easily bound by their laws and rules. Though it
was before my time, I figured she always ran free to dance in the
moonlight, not to be with him. Yet she was gone for many months and
my father waited for her and waited until she finally appeared and was
very dazed from what looked to be a long and exhausting walk. In
her hand she held a pouch and within that was a ring that whenever anyone
showed it to her, she would quickly turn away and gasp. All my father
could do was sense her pain and demanded the ring be taken away.
My aunt had this ring and today I have finally laid claim to it.
Throughout the years I know it bears the arms that belong to the lord.
Due to circumstances, I suspect if I was to bring the ring to his court
it would shame him this day. I know this because he is now married
to another and within me lies the proof he violated the laws set in my
homeland...... against my homeland.
A few days after she returned with the ring, my father married my mother and eight months later I was born. My father was very happy to have me and my mother was happy as well, yet my family often speaks of how she never wanted the responsibility. Regardless she named me Fiona and hoped that I would follow in her footsteps of being a free and creative spirit. Though love has bound me in my life, I know the passion in my heart can never let her down.
My mother was a bard you see and an excellent one. Many people have reminded me of this and told me that this shows how she was able to charm so many men with her song. In her tales she spun stories of life, death, adventure, and of love. She was extrememly creative…most people think she was mad.
My father attempted to raise me with the Christian ways but I never felt that was my calling. My mother tried to compensate by teaching me music at an early age and teaching me how to retale her tales with intense vibrancy. My father never suceeded, my mother did.
The years passed and I grew up, yet I was pained by her wanderings. Even as she was married they did not stop. For one time she wandered off for about three years. My father tried to raise me as best as he could and we both always expressed our deep love for her. During that time I grew more into my music and fought the notion that everyone said she was mad. She was just an artist that was misunderstood.
I kept on growing and the more mature I became, the more I wandered as well. My journeys led me to meet two people who would always influence my life. One was a Scottish lord and years later we fell into each other’s arms as lovers but the more he tried to bound me the more I ran, it was then I met the love of my life.
I fell into my lover’s arms with intense ferocity and passion. We shared many nights together as my father gave up on trying to watch over me. My father yearned for my mother too much and knew I was following in her footsteps. Perhaps he wanted me to stay away so he could deal with the pain of her leaving again. Regardless she came back and I was quick to introduce her to the love of my life.
For days my parents never left each other’s side but my father was concerned as she would whisper the name of the English lord in her sleep many times. I only stayed with them part of the time and spent the other time with my love. It was then certain tragedy befell me and he became ill with a deadly disease. I stayed by his side for weeks on end and when his spirit was freed I clung tightly to his body, begging him to come back. Yet he did not but in his memory, I still possess a ring he gave to me to symbolize our union. This second ring I proudly wear, unlike the other which I sometimes keep hidden. I had to accept the fact he was gone and I slowly returned home only to find out my mother had left again.
My father was never the same after that and my mother never returned this time. Some people say she is dead, some others say that the fae may of claimed her, others say she kept wandering into madness and I know some radical people loyal to the English would love to see her hanged for seducing the lord. What I also didn’t realize is that the Scottish lord, who I once loved but turned away, and her English lover teamed together to find me, but only managed to find my father and murder him.
Or was it those who longed to see him dead because of the statues? I know that the lord and my ex lover has sent people to track me, but I also know even though my father married my mother, he knew she consorted with the English. Whatever the reason, I will never forget when I found him, lying in a pool of blood as I held him in my arms. My tears did not help his pain as he told me, “Your mother has loved many and another has sought to possess her as I have, he may even be your father…though I have loved you.” He then winced, obviously in intense pain and told me, “Fiona, let me go.” He pleaded, hoping I would release him so he could be free of the madness of falling in love with my mother.
It was then my real wandering began and my music was my constant companion. I used it to pay for my travels and to find the truth…what happened to my mother and who was my father really? I also know that the more I look for answers, the more I am hunted. Yet I could never be free of the fact the father I know was killed. My journeys led me to many exotic places and I have been fortunate to meet many new friends, including Sophie von Schonsilberstein. I have even discovered that the sacred statutes are not nearly well enforced as they should be. I, like my mother, have even consorted with a few English from time to time. Yet those bound by laws, will always be a slave to them.
Yet to this day I still seek the real answers
to who and where my mother is, who her lovers were, and who my real father
is while longing to discover my talents and express them to others.
My journey has led me to Vogelburg and not wishing to reveal my identity,
save for the name my mother gave me, I have named myself after the township
(Fiona of Vogelburg). I hope we meet in harmony and peace and perhaps
you will be in one of the songs I sing under the moonlight.”
